Niko

This past weekend my oldest son, Niko, went through an American rite of passage known as the Senior Prom. On that special day, graduating high school seniors, get dressed up in tuxedos and evening gowns to celebrate an important milestone in their lives. As Nick and his date, stood dutifully while we snapped what seemed like a million pictures, I couldn't help but think about the last eighteen years.  Anyone who has spent any time at MGO has probably noticed the angelic looking kid at the top of the right column. That would be little "Stavraki" as my Mama refers to me even today at the tender age of 55.  As a kid I was far from angelic. I was a real piece of work and my parents have the white hairs to prove it.  On quite a few memorable occasions, I had to be patched up in the local hospital emergency room as my parents looked on in anguish.  Needless to say I heard Mama whispering under her breath, more than once, the Greek mother's infamous curse: "Just wait until you have kids." 

Being a parent is the most important job most of us ever have. No matter how well you do it, no matter how much you love them. They grow up,  spread their wings and fly off.  Looking back,  it feels like just yesterday when I watched in awe as my son took his first breath and cried.  I remember holding his pudgy, little hands as he took his first tenuous steps, then hugging him when he fell. I cherish the memory of running besides him as he rode his first two wheel bike or cheering deliriously after he scored his first goal playing soccer. These days the little boy who loved to sit perched on my shoulders is only a memory.  Niko has been accepted to Hellenic College and will be starting classes in the Fall, majoring in Religious Studies.  After high school graduation this June, he and several other Greek Orthodox young adults, sponsored by the Greek Orthodox Metropolis of Boston, will be going on a mission trip to Mexico to build a home for an indigent Mexican family. All of these young people including Nick, will spend the rest of their summer as camp counselors at the Boston Metropolis Camp located in the New Hampshire woods.

Needless to say, Anna and I have mixed feelings about Niko setting out on his own, don't forget, we are Greek parents. On the one hand, we couldn't be prouder of the person he has developed into and what he has accomplished. On the other, we are already beginning to feel a sense of loss as the little boy we nurtured for eighteen years is now transformed into a man setting out on a difficult journey through life. We want to be able to help him when he faces life's challenges. To be there with him when he confronts the happiness and sorrows that inevitably come one's way. Yet, Anna and I know that he must stand on his own two feet and that there will be times when all we can do as parents  is to pray for our children.

Nick is an amazing kid. Maybe that's the proud parent in me talking, however, when I compare, Nick to myself as a teenager, he comes out way ahead. Despite my parents best efforts, I was a bit of a wise guy with a chip on my shoulder as a teenager and it took the entire US Marine Corps to make me come to my senses. Nick, on the other hand, is the kind of person that others are drawn to because they realize that he is humble and is neither judgmental nor critical of others. This is a true gift. Although I am his biological father, Nick's spiritual father has been our parish priest who also happens to be our neighbor.  Thanks to him, and the strong influence of other grown-ups within our community, Nick has grown up with a strong foundation in our Orthodox faith and a true sense of philotimo.  Being a former Marine, my childrearing style can lapse into the authoritarian mode, something I am still working on. Fortunately for Nick, he has had the benefit of one bad cop and lots of good cops including his grandparents, aunts, uncles, and his sainted mother.  Anna has always been his advocate and her unstinting, unconditional love for him is emblematic of a typical Greek mother.

Another element in Nick's life has been the impact of the counselors and staff at the Boston  Metropolis Camp along with the very strong friendships he has developed with other Greek kids there. These friendships have strengthened over time and I am sure will continue to grow throughout their adult years. There is a great deal of gnashing of teeth and wailing about the younger generation these days. If Niko and his friends are indicative of the potential of this up and coming generation. There may still be some hope for our world.

Nick, your Mom and Dad love you, admire the man you've become and want you to know that no matter where you go, you will always be an inseparable part of us.

P.S.  Just wait until you have kids.

Pictures:  Nick's Baptism in Greece,   Nick and his favorite aunt, Katina, Nick and his brother Chris,Nick and his Mom

Comments

[Hermes]

Stavros, very good post. You sound like an exemplary father. You are old enough to be my own father so I should know.

[Stavros]

Hermes,

I am anything but an exemplary parent. Like most parents I am far from perfect, bumbling my way through fatherhood. Despite the fact that I am a slow learner, I try hard. Luckily, in my case I had lots of help from Anna, my parents, my in-laws, my sister, Katina, my two brother-in-laws and our friends from church.

I hope you will someday find the right Greek girl and have kids of your own. Do your best, follow the good example set by your parents, instill a sense of philotimo in your kids when you get a teaching moment and most importantly learn from your mistakes.

Sorry if I sound like your father.

[Hermes]

Gents, completely unrelated but a below is a link to Greek military manual - sieges and siegecraft for you military history buffs.

http://www.doaks.org/Siegecraft.pdf

[NONO]

Nick you have the most beautiful motheri that I've ever seen.
Stavro you are a very lucky man.
Chris I'm waiting for you.
Annoula mou happy birthday and "how you doing"?

[CaliforniaKat]

This is a great post. I love the photos of Niko through the years. More than that, it looks like you and your wife have done an amazing job raising beautiful, happy children. I only hope I'll be able to do the same one day.

[Stavros]

Cal,

I showed Niko your blog. His exact words were "Dad, now that is a very cool looking blog."
Anna and I have tried hard to give our kids a good start in life. We've made our share of mistakes along the way, as do all parents. Unfortunately, kids don't come with an instruction manual. Learning along the way is inevitable. Based on what I know about you from reading your blog, you aren't the kind of person that does things half-heartedly. This will stand you in good stead as a parent. I think you will do just fine.

[parthenopi lambrou]

me mperdepsate paidia... ti ginetai me sas?